All About the “I”
“If only…”What a way to start a thought. These words really mean, I wish it happened like I wanted it to happen. As you can see it has a lot to do with “I” and very little to do with anything else. When we look in a mirror we look to see if we can find any imperfections on the exterior, those we do see, we try to fix so when others look at us they do not see our external flaws. Yet, when we looks at others we see both their external and internal flaws that aggitate us. We are really great at seeing the faults and flaws of others, we act as their personal mirrors even when they don’t ask. We give our opinions to them in our mind, to their face, or behind their back. We think or say, “If only you did this you would be a better…”. We shell our critiques like it is our full time job. Do not get it twisted, we do not do this because we are some great humans. It is because we see the internal versions of ourselves as near flawless. We always think we are right in most situations.
Quite, Even When Right
Many people from all walks of life, not only the spiritual followers of BAPS sought the guidance of His Holiness Pramukh Swami Maharaj. Yet, when Swamiji gave guidance it was in the most humble of ways. He would listen to what a person had to say, then he would not force his reasoning upon them in only one way. He would read the person and explain the guidance to that individual in a way they could understand. He never forcefully sought to change any person but always changed his way of how to deal with them. He understood that person was the same as the next. This ability of His Holiness was what made him special to each and every person. They all felt that here is a person who understands me for who I am. In doing so he won over the hearts of all. The simple action of listening won 50% of a person’s heart, he won the other 50% by not judging.
Opening My Ears And Closing My Mouth
I am super guilty — and my twitter feed proves it. I will shell out critique after critique about things that sometimes I have no knowledge of. Make judgments about others decisions and feel so self-righteous about it. I also do this in to people that I know. I never take the time out to listen. Instead I make up my mind about a situation and then go about telling someone how it should be done. I would call this my version of “Only if…”. When I look back at it, it is sickening how arrogant I am about it. The two things His Holiness did to win my heart I do the exact opposite.
This stops now — I have to be better and to do so I have to be a better listener. While listening I have to not think I know what it is like to walk in that persons shoes. I don’t know how they got to a place of making a decision, it is not for me to pass a single judgment about them. If I think about my story Pramukh Swami Maharaj listened to everything I ever said and never said to me “If only you did this or that.”, he never berated me for anything I was doing wrong. He never judged me for the many things I did not do correctly. He only showed me love and compassion. He never stopped listening and never stopped telling me in a way that I would understand. He waited patiently for 35 years until I decided to make a change.
